It’s been almost a year since I’ve talked about our sleeping arrangements so I thought I would give you an update. That whole routine we were trying didn’t work. Allison is clearly the boss of me.
When we try to get her to lay down by herself in her own bed, she will get back out as soon as one of us leaves the room. Not once, not twice, not even just 5 times. We could go through it for a full hour with her crying about how she isn’t tired yet and just wants. “her mooooommmmmmyyyyyy”, and it wouldn’t make a difference to her.
If we lay down with her in her bed, she will talk, non-stop until Greg or I fall asleep beside her. She can snuggle with me in my bed, fall asleep and then Greg will move her over to her own bed for the rest of the night. By rest of the night, I mean 4 or 5 in the morning when she will meander into our room, crawl into our bed and sleep the rest of the morning away with us.
The past few nights we have been putting her to bed, in her room. We will tell her a story (usually about super heroes), tuck her into her blanket, and then exit the room. When whichever of us leaves, we tell her that I will be in to check on her in a little while. The plan being that she will fall asleep before I make it back in to check on her. She always asks, “After you check on me, will you sleep with me, Mom?” She is always hopeful, always sure that her mom won’t let her down.
The first night it worked ok. The second night, Greg fell asleep with her. Last night, the plan flew out the window when she asked in the cutest way ever (as she was crawling into my bed and under the sheets), “It’s ok if we snuggle a little bit first in your bed, right Mom? I feel like I need to snuggle with you.” What parent could possibly turn down the request to snuggle with their child? All she wants is some love, who am I to deny her that? Yeah, the kid clearly has my number.
I think a big part of the problem (besides being unable to listen to Allison cry for an hour) is that she and Zoey share a room. There is really no way to change this. Since Zoey is in school, a decent bedtime and actual sleep during the night are pretty important. So when Allison does cry or talk or whatever I am afraid she is going to wake up Zoey. Allison generally goes to bed later than her older siblings. She sleeps later than they do in the mornings and sometimes takes a nap during the day. I thought this would be a good routine to keep up because it lets Greg sleep in just a little bit longer also. They usually wake up right as we are heading out the door in the mornings, so it’s not like they are sleeping in that much later than the rest of us. So, bedtime is going to change.
We’re going to go back to how we used to do it when Nathan and Zoey were much younger. Everyone is going to brush teeth, pick out things to sleep with, then head to bed at the same time. We are going to read stories out loud in the girl’s room then turn out the lights. Hopefully, Allison will see that Zoey is doing the same things and it will help ease her into a routine where she doesn’t need us in bed with her to fall asleep.
Anyone else have suggestions?
i think that’s a great plan.
maybe starting on a weekend, so if things are rough the first few days will help zoey?
Have you tried letting the girls bunk togather. Does she like Dora? I have a Dora twin bed tent I could send you. I am sure it would be safe for her, she doesn’t run the risk Conner did. Or, I think I have a purple canopy that goes over the bed, that hangs from the ceiling (for a princess bed), or just tell her that Super Hero’s don’t sleep with thier parents. Cause if they gotta fight crime in the middle of the night. they don’t wanna wake thier parents up.
I was very stubborn about not wanting to sleep in my bed as a kid, but a large part of that was that I *hated* my bed; wasn’t comfortable to me at all. So, when one of my folks (usually dad) would lie down with me, I would wait until they fell asleep, and then sneak out of my room and back to my parents’ bed.
No advice, I’m afraid (outside of my earlier, superhero themed brainwashing suggestions), just wanted to share
Hi there. Happy Delurking Week! This is my first time here (found you through Beth’s ClubMom site). But I thought I could maybe offer a suggestion to your sleep problems.
I don’t know how old your daughter is, but we got our daughter, at about 2 1/2 years old, to go to sleep on her own (after a few months of sitting by her side till she fell asleep).
Basically, every night I inched further and further away from her side. I told her ahead of time where in her room I was going to sit while she fell asleep and also that there’d be no talking once the light was out. Every night I got further and further away and in a little more than a week, I was out her door. She did great! Yes, we had minor issues every once in awhile with her getting up to check on where we were. But basically the process worked awesome and cured our bedtime troubles.
Good luck! Hope this helps.
Amy
Cut out the nap, she’s old enough to let it go. The bedtime routine is a great idea. I promise she’ll start going to sleep earlier. Staying in her bed all night might not happen though. Love you Mom
I don’t have any suggestions. I was going to share that Bohdin likes to pull out the I’m hungry card. If he doesn’t want to go to sleep he’ll go to the door and say “Let’s go eat”. I can’t deny him food if he’s hungry and he knows that. Sometimes I’ll bring him food and make him eat it in the dark on the bed. It often turns out he wasn’t as hungry as he thought. Bohdin is still sleeping with us and that probably won’t change for a while. He likes to cuddle. Plus he’s too stubborn to force something that isn’t that big of a deal for us yet.